Friday, July 25, 2008

Lessons in Parenting: Be Positive


Two months ago

H had never been one to run and jump into the pool. He liked the pool and the idea of swimming but if you happened to stop by and we were in the pool he would most likely be hugging the wall (in the shallow end) or with floaties, a life jacket, and a tube. We always tried to encourage him to swim with us and if he agreed our necks usually had red marks from him holding us so tightly. I decided to try out swim lessons and see if this would help ease his fear and improve his confidence.

He was actually excited and I thought, "this is going to be good." Well, for the first week I called Steve everyday after the lesson and would ask him if swim lessons were over yet. H hardly listened to the teacher, barely made any effort or had extreme fear. I would say things like, "Hudson it would help if you would listen to the teacher and do what she says" or something to that effect. I would usually get no response or "I hate swim lessons".

One night when I was trying to decide if I should just pull him out of the lessons I had a thought, "Look for the good and be positive." I then thought of something he did well during the lesson and went and sat by him and said, "I saw that you put your head under water and held your breath during your swim lesson this morning, that was awesome. I think someday you are going to be a really great swimmer." His face immediatly lit up and he looked at me with a smile and said, "really?" The next lesson was better and I continued with the positivity. Each lesson was better and I always pointed out the positive things to him. Something clicked.

Two months later.

He jumps in the pool and says, "Do you want to see my streamline?" Steve and I just stare in amazement as he swims across the pool. He moved up three levels in swimming and his teachers say he is one of the best swimmers (of course they probably say that to most, but we believe it). At some point I will get a video of it, it is a crack up.

So, I am learning to focus on the positive and hopefully my kids struggles can become strengths.

2 comments:

traveltwin said...

wow, thanks for sharing that because it was totally something i needed to hear. i think i tend to forget as a parent that kids really need praise and crave it. my grandma c. always used to say you get better results with honey than with vinegar.

Jill said...

Good lesson Nat. I am going to remember this one. This will become a mantra.